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I failed my first article today.

I say that in the most modest and disappointed tone–hoping that maybe a few years down the line I can look back on this post and be proud of how far I’ve come.

As I mentioned in my first blog of the school year, one factual error and you fail. (This includes spelling a person’s name wrong.) It does not exactly mean a zero but an F is an F is an F. And I got my first one of my college career–in the one class I should not be getting it in.

This further adds to my conclusion that hard news stories are not my beat. The more I write these to-the-point factual stories, the more I feel the creativity draining out of me. Granted, alternative leads give me more leeway to be creative, but for some reason when I sit to write news stories I only think facts. Then my stories become drab and boring and do not even sound like me. They are just blah.

My high school articles were better.

I hate making up excuses, though. After all, if I want to be a journalist I should be able to write all kinds of stories–and up until this class I thought I could. But I realise that hiding behind my problems will always affect my work.

I just haven’t been very proud of any of my articles and it sure does not help that they can forever be found on some online websites. I have not been very proud of any of my blogs or recent essays either. Actually, I havent been proud of anything I have done this semester. My wordplay is dwindling and my motivation for anything school-related (or anything at all for that matter) is hanging by a very thin thread that blows in the dry central Florida wind.

Where is my head? Am I losing my talent at the expense of trying to better my social life and college experience? Am I allowing my problems to get the best of me?

I’d hate to think so. Junior year is no year to be screwing up.

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