My last post has left me feeling very eerie, as did my research over these last few days.
I feel as though I have opened myself up to information that perhaps I am not ready to handle; information that I would have to take in doses, time being the middle man.
This all slightly reverted me back to my childhood. Whenever I had moments where I was afraid of life and infinite knowledge, I needed to have someone with me. You see, I was always afraid of loneliness – a fact that I still cannot rebuke.
I used to trick my brother into staying in the bathroom with me while I took a shower. I tried coming up with all sorts of things to converse about if ever he came in to brush his teeth. I am not sure if he ever realised, but this was all due to fear of being alone. (I never really cared about whatever it was that I coughed up to keep him around.)
My prima esposa almost had to be my big brother on Wednesday night. Perhaps because I overdosed on information and needed a distraction. Still, it has not stopped me from continuing my research.
In fact, I have now opened up conversation on the topic with several other people, including my prima esposa who is now almost as fascinated by it as I am.
What is it, you ask? Well, you’ll just have to read my last blog to find out, for I will write about its details no longer.