I was reading through some of my older blogs and came across one about the seemingly never-ending apartment hunting I did earlier this year.
It talked about how excited I was to be living with 3 friends instead of unknown hermits, and how we could share the fridge not just with designated spaces but also with content. I cook today; you cook tomorrow. I’ll wash the dishes next day and you clean the kitchen the day after. One milk, one butter, one loaf of bread, one happy family.
It’s too bad in life things rarely ever happen the way you want them to. People don’t practise to put your needs before their own–and why should they. At the end of the day, we live in a lonely and selfish I’m-independent-so-I-don’t-need-you-as-much-as-you-think-I-need-you world filled with people who scramble around everyday of their life only so they can compare their material things that make them so happy at the week’s end.
I can’t say how happy I am that I’ve realised this so early. It could have taken half my energy, all of my tears, and a lifetime of failed attempts at trying to accommodate others. It doesn’t mean I’m going to live a selfish life too, and I will never agree that that is the key to happiness. If you ask me, the solution lies within the things we are teaching each other. We don’t teach people how to care anymore; we teach them how to be careful. You’re supposed to get what you give so why not give love. What better a gift than to know you’re not alone–than to know that there are a handful of people who can be held accountable for the blessing of companionship in your life. Everyone needs someone. Lucky for me I have more than a handful. And maybe where I went wrong was trying to fill more hands than what I was born with. It’s like adding water to a cup that is already three quarters full. Eventually the water starts spilling over and soon you can hardly tell which is new and which is old because at some point the contents of the cup got mixed and for all you know some of the old water spilled out in the overflow and you’re left with a cup full of water you no longer recognise.
I can’t afford for my cup of good water to spill over or be mixed. If anything, i’ll just have to find another cup: there is plenty more love for me to share and plenty of people whom I have yet to meet & befriend.
If even my second cup is being stubborn, then i’ll just have to find another way to change the world.