The day my slippers went missing.
I realise I have not updated my blog in far too long and I will begin by apologising. If I wrote about the past few days, this would probably get a bit too personal and mushy. So I have spared you. You’re welcome.
Today, however, gave me something to blog about. It might sound a bit trivial, but I am still in shock — and a bit sad as well.
Most of those who know me, can vouch for my extreme dislike hate for feet! I personally believe that if they never existed, all would be right in this world. Don’t make that face. We would have adapted to life without feet by now, don’t you think?
Anyway, back to my dislike. Don’t touch me with them. Don’t ask me to touch or massage them. No I will not paint or cut your nasty little toenails. I’m not going to put on your shoes either. You need not be offended though, it is nothing personal.
That being said, a most tragic event occured today whilst I swam amongst the ocean life. I am oblivious to the exact time this happened, as well as the manner in which it took place; but, my brand new WHITE Old Navy slippers were stolen and now have someone else’s gross feet in them. Mind you, I wear a size 5. I’m not sure how many people in this world could even fit into any shoe I put on.
Oh alchohol; the things you do to right-minded people.
How did I find out? Well you see, apparently the person also had old navy slippers — white ones to be precise. So when I came out of the water and was ready to leave, I put my feet in those lovely size 8s and found them to be overwhelmingly roomy. I was sober though, and shortly thereafter came to the conclusion that they were not mine. Someone mistakenly, or not, went home with the wrong-sized slippers, and left me with their all-too-big and not-so-new ones that were “coincidentally” placed right beside my bag.
What are the odds.
Now, I am stuck with them. Of course, the first thing I did was wash them off. But I still feel gross wearing them, considering I have no idea whose feet they belong to. I have quite an imagination, you know, and it’s simply perpetuating the problem.
If only Jamaica had an Old Navy.