I have never been the one to quit. I always dive head first into anything I believe in, (after all I am a swimmer) and commit myself to finishing the entire race. If it took me years and years, I’d swim those 1000-meters.
As of late, I’ve been losing that ambition.
November was good to me. I never really had too many complaints. I spent most of my time equally focusing on both my school work and my social life. And let us not forget the Thanksgiving break, which I realise I have said nothing about. Do not be mistaken, my break was awesome. As usual, Brother unlucky gave me something to write about, very minor, but I just decided not to. There is simply too much irresponsibility and bad luck in one human being. My friend’s response to his losing his blackberry – for the second time – was “if it wasn’t for bad luck, he would have none at all.” Enough said.
As for my newly and subconsciously adopted idea of “quitting life”, I will admit that I do not enjoy it at all. I almost convinced myself to not write the 4-page Spanish essay that was due today, despite the fact that I already read the 300-page novel it was supposed to be analysing. Remember that? I’m sure you do, I complained about that too.
Thankfully something came over me and I decided to do it. It probably took me all of about an hour and a half to do it. If I invested as much time into productivity as I did into complaining I would be a straight A student.
Speaking of straight A’s, another part of my quitter mentality is my satisfaction with a C in statistics. Mind you, I was borderline failing up until the last test, but I still should not be happy with the air of mediocrity that surrounds a C. What keeps me going are the three A’s that I plan to get to balance out that nasty 2.0 in my semester GPA.
That should be easy enough; just one more week to end off the semester in a positive light.
There is one more thing that I am trying my hardest not to give up on. It’s the one thing that has kept me sane for the past few months, and promises to improve as time goes on. Therein lies the problem – time.
I have this huge fear of December 31, 2009. It could be my conspiracy theorist speaking again, but I feel this one is a bit more grounded. That date is said to begin Agenda 21 – the esoteric agenda of depopulation of the world by 3 billion. (Google it.)
I had hoped to spend this Christmas holiday in Jamaica with my family and him. I had all these plans for mistletoe’s, zip lining, road-tripping, and ringing in the New Year. Everything was squashed when I found out I am not going anywhere. Spending New Years in Florida? Rough. Now I have no idea when next Jamaica will see my face.
Sounds like a minor issue, I know, but it is not so minor when your relationship depends on it. And plus, I was hoping to stock up on my vitamins and nutrients before it is too late.
But since that cannot happen, I hope Codex Alimentarius is joking.