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The Cycle

A few days have passed and nothing much has changed. There are just more developments in my friendship world, and my relationship is experiencing the usual distance factor.

The boyfriend left me yesterday (wow it was only yesterday?) to go and play a tournament in Kingston with 4 of his teammates. They should all be honoured by this since they were considered the top 5 players at the school and are expected to be approached by several scouts offering scholarships to different universities. Though he wanted to spend my last few days with me, I couldn’t let him miss such a great opportunity.

It feels way longer than just one day. I find it funny how time can be manipulated by life’s events. Often people are so consumed by work and school that they do not realise the days and weeks as they skate by unannounced. By the time you are finished doing your project you realise that three weeks have gone by and you’ve spent them doing absolutely nothing fulfilling or enjoyable.

I also find it funny that people can say that life is short. How can life be short when it is the longest thing we do? Life is just unpredictable is all; and that is part of the reason why it is so amazing.

The Christmas Break has been very up and down for me. As with everything, though, there are always ups and downs. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can say the good outweighs the bad, but I still consider my cup half full.

This past semester had the potential to be so great yet everything was just so average. I moved into a nice apartment with three strangers and I signed up for classes I knew I would enjoy, (minus statistics if you remember) and I was a fairly active member in CaribSa. In the end, I found myself annoyed with Spanish, upset with my 89 in world religions, and being satisfied with a C in statistics. What’s more, I was living with three trees, no car, and miles away from most of the people who keep me sane. Miles away seems like nothing much when everyone has a computer or a Blackberry. But as I’ve explained to someone before, you can have 500 people on your msn, 100 on your blackberry, 1000 on your facebook, and still be lonely.

Fortunately, I had my prima esposa who was practically my fourth roommate. We made some good memories–from walking to my little hill, to eating yogurt, to the many laughs and inside jokes we shared. Now that the time is coming close for me to start back school, and after her giving me a few choice words today, I feel like I have nothing to go back to in that town. Sure I have my old roommates and my CSA family, but hell, if the world ended tomorrow I wouldn’t be thrilled to know I spent all my life in school, and my last few months in Borlando.

You see, that is the thing with life. Society has already created our priorities for us, so all that is left for us to do is find a way to enjoy the “in-betweens.” We must not be distracted by all of the shiny objects that glisten in the sunlight; there is something under there that is far more important. (If it makes you happy, wholesome, or healthy, then it is important to you.)

Now that I feel some of my friendships deteriorating after so many years, I have to wonder if maybe I am doing things wrong. It could be that today is one of my girlier days where I am being disgustingly sensitive for no reason. Still, I don’t feel as happy as I should being home, even though everything is going fine. This is probably because the time is winding down very quickly and I am alone already.

Coming and going will never get any easier will it? I always feel like I have no reason to go back there; and with my recent discoveries about the US I am too afraid of what this year has in store.

I’d much rather just kick back in the hills somewhere with no connection besides my Blackberry to the outside world.

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