No matter how many times it hits us, death is the one thing I think humans will never learn how to deal with.
What can you do to help when someone is mourning? What can you possibly say to that person to make them feel even just a little bit better?
Nothing. Nothing at all. You just have to sit there like a faithful friend and cry with them. You can give hugs until you are blue, and mention over-and-over that you are there for them, that they need to be strong, that the person is in a better place, that time heals all wounds… But that is as far as it goes.
It is a kind of uselessness that far surmounts any other. No matter how many pretty words you can come up with, it won’t mask any of the pain that the person bears in their heart from the moment that it happens.
I suppose if you have been there before you should be able to help more than someone who never has. Maybe you can mention what you did to feel better, or how you managed to pull through every day despite your heavy no-longer-whole heart.
After so many deaths, I wanted to believe I had all the right words to say. But I didn’t. All I could do was walk with her and tell her my stories and experiences with the grim reaper. All five-thousand. For once I was actually able to get through the funerals, the goodbyes, the regrets, the pain – all without shedding one tear.
We just sat there on the hill (my hill that is); her listening and me speaking. I suppose that was helpful enough, but I still can’t help but feel like there should be more I can do. I guess this is how my friends felt every time I was in her position; Completely helpless.
Either way, I’m here for you prima esposa. And I’m sorry.